P.U.

Not much to write. Nothing much going on. I have had the Mighty Lemon Drops (remember them?) “Inside Out” song stuck in my head for days. Thanks to the MAC counter at the local mall. I would like to get a hold of their mix cd because it was that good!

A lot of things have been literally stinking in my life lately. Let’s see…

The dog. He stinks. You all know the story of my dog, his allergies, his skin, and now his lack of waste control.
The carpet. (see dog above)
My car. We had another issue with the leak, so it doesn’t stink now. But it did. One more time and this car will be history.
My (well, not mine – but you know what I mean) diaper genie. I can scrub that thing out and Lysol it to death and I can still smell it. Does anyone else know what I mean? I may just pitch it as soon as the million dollar refill runs out.

Oh, and is New Jersey flooding? What is going on?

Hopefully, you will all have a great weekend. I won’t leave you with anything heavy or depressing.

Just this --

“Only God can make a tree.”
What that has to do with anything, I have no idea. My dad would say it all the time. He would also tell people they were "slapping it." I don't know exactly what "it" was, but I have some ideas.

Now don't you feel all happy inside??

Gas crisis

Okay, so a woman at my husband’s job is gas crazy (like the fuel, people) Ever since hurricane Katrina and the subsequent rising gas prices, this person at my husband’s office has panicked and decided that we all need to FILL UP NOW! So, every once in awhile she goes on a “fill up” rampage and alerts everyone she can to fill up, top off, whatever. “The gas prices are going up. Leave work and fill up now!” And the sad thing is – people do it. Amazing.

So, after I got an email from him saying, “help me I work with a moron!” we came up with a song about it. My husband made up a music video for the “Fill it up!” song that we came up with to go with this woman’s rampage. It’s sung to the chorus of KISS’ “Lick it up”

Fill it up!
Fill it up!
Whooooa!

Just top it off now!

Fill it up!
Fill it up!
Whooooa!

The video has Gene Simmons in it and his tongue is shaped like a gas nozzle. He puts it in the gas tanks of these cars driven by hot women. Now, I know you could get all sorts of imagery from that, but we are keeping it clean, okay? Anyway, now you see what we spend our free time doing – walking in the park? cleaning the house? volunteer work? No. We make up songs.

Why we don’t do this for a living, I will never know.

Free fall

I am really losing my mind now.

What I am about to say is gross. So, if you are reading this during lunch, or you have a weak stomach, or you don't have pets or kids, just come back another time. Really.

This morning, after the dog had been out not less than ten minutes earlier, he stood in the hallway of our house …
and poop just fell out of his butt. It just fell out.

It just fell out.

And he stood there looking at me as I freaked out.

My husband said that the dog was “literally shit faced.”

Well, I guess he was.

William, William, it was really nothing.

There are some days when my son is whining about something very unimportant and I just want to do a Morrissey imitation. I don’t think he would get it.