Awakenings

This week has been a week full of awakenings for me.

This week, I finally sent an email that I have been meaning to send for a very long time. It wasn’t an easy email to write. As a matter of fact, I think I talked myself out of sending it for a very long time. But this week - I sent it. And it felt good. It felt good to express myself, to be honest, to put my feelings out there. I feel like I haven’t done that in a very long time.

Also, this week, I finally put two plus years of frustration and anger out on the table. It’s out there now. It’s free. And I can’t tell you how good it feels to let that demon out and to breathe again. I can’t tell you how good it feels to stop doubting myself. To feel the fire return and to care again. To take pride in what I do again. To once again have a voice.

There are so many people that deserve thanks for supporting and listening to me through these times - and one person who, through her quiet confidence, woke the sleeping giant. You have revitalized me. Thank you. Thank all of you.

Losing my religion

My sister-in-law is a religious nut. Now, I don’t have anything against religion, but I think it is a personal covenant between you and your God. Why must some people make everything a religious issue?

For instance, my sister-in-law once told my brother-in-law that Hollywood was evil and that they should boycott Hollywood (aka movies). So, that meant no movies for them. Except that she went and saw Shrek with her friends. I guess she was able to withstand the evil powers of Hollywood.

She also was/is a follower of Joyce Meyer. You know Joyce Meyer. The woman preacher on TV who wears the glittery, sequined suits and has some kind of flashy bible cover. Supposedly, watching Joyce Meyer will bring you all the necessities of life. Since Joyce is on during the daytime, getting a job would interfere with her daily devotional. So, my sister-in-law sat in my in-laws den for two years, while my mother-in-law went to work to support her. Is that what God meant when he said “honor thy father and thy mother?” Does that not apply to in-laws? I guess in her mind it didn’t. Technically, they weren’t her parents.

I’m an Irish Catholic with nine plus years of Catholic school under my belt. Now, I am not a devout, practicing Catholic – but from time to time I wander back to the Church. Do you think I force my in-laws to say grace before every meal? No. But you can be damn sure that we have to say my sister-in-law’s blessing. Do you think I force any of my family to follow any of the religious beliefs/teachings that I follow? No. Religion is personal. It shouldn’t be forced upon anyone. I didn’t even have a Catholic wedding – for many reasons, but one of them was so no one felt uncomfortable. If you don’t know when to stand/sit/kneel, a Catholic wedding can be torture.

As you can tell, I am not a big fan of my sister-in-law.

So, on Halloween she left a little cup with some items in it for my son at my in-law’s house. We went over so they could see their grandson in his Halloween costume, since he is the only grandchild who celebrates Halloween. In the cup were some stickers and on the back my sister-in-law wrote “Happy Harvest.” Her harvest message sent my husband off the deep end. To me, it just reinforced my negative feelings toward her.

I didn’t know she was a farmer, or a pagan. Apparently, she celebrates harvest, not Halloween.