ouish

Saturday, July 29, 2006

All work and no play....

I decided that tonight I would take some time out to post. It seems anytime I am near a computer I am working. I just finished working on some metadata and decided that I was finished for the evening. There's only so many cotton warehouses you can enter!

Ugh. I have so many things coming to a head in September. The next month will really be the month from Hell. But, I'm prepared. I started on some things early. I'm budgeting my time. I may be exhausted some days - but I'm not overwhelmed -- yet. It's hard because I am a GIANT procrastinator.

But, I am making a trip to NJ in September after the dust has settled. God, I miss NJ. But, I miss the NJ I left when I was a 20 year-old. It's not the same. I'm not the same. For all the stereotypical things about NJ, there are a lot of good things. I'm going to concentrate on the good things this trip. My dad has retired so I will be able to spend a good amount of time with him. That should provide lots of fodder for future posts.

I'm doing some really great work with therapy. Most of the work is outside therapy - but I am making some incredible progress. My anxiety has greatly diminished. I'm becoming more confident in myself. I'm letting a lot of things go. I finished a book called, Perfect Daughters. It discussed daughters of alcoholics and the effect that alcoholism has on them compared to sons of alcoholics. I realize where my perfectionism came from and I am slowly realizing how to let it go.

What else? I've become addicted to Grey's Anatomy and Project Runway. Although, I can't seem to catch PR when it's actually on and so I wind up watching a bunch of episodes at one time. But, Grey's...I stop everything to watch that. McDreamy? People, come on! NOT the nerd from Can't Buy Me Love anymore! Let's see...We are having someone come out to pressure wash the house (siding does require maintenance!) and landscape the front. Everything is way too green and I don't know enough to change it. Just get someone who knows what the hell they are doing to fix it. Is my life exciting, or what? Please...the line to be me starts here. Take a number.

Sufjan Stevens just came on Radio Paradise. I cannot get enough of Sufjan. Thank you Christine (and Mary). Passing that on has been a wonderful gift. Just incredible. Really.

I've also had this incredible desire to listen to Squeeze and the Dead Kennedys.

If only cassettes could last forever....

Thursday, July 13, 2006

soul searching

It seems like the only time I post anything to this blog it's because I've been thinking. Sometimes, we think we are doing the right thing and it turns out we have been doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. May your hearts never turn black.

In honor of my thinking and my New Jersey roots...I give you this

I got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear's a powerful thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust

"Devils and Dust" -- Bruce Springsteen