thank you, teeth!

Saturday I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. On my way out, I walked by the gumball machines and thought I would stop and find something really dumb to surprise my husband with. Well, I was going to drop some coins in the Homiez machine when I saw the best gumball prize of all.

Fake. Rotten. Teeth.

I put in my coins. As I turned the metal knob I knew I was making the right choice. Out popped a clear gumball machine "egg" with a yellow top. I could see the plastic goodness inside.

I waited until I got to the car to open my prize - I didn't want to drop it. I opened up the plastic egg and there were my fake, rotten teeth. I fit them over my real teeth and proceeded to drive home with these teeth in. I really hope someone saw me driving with them in. I also tried to sing along to the radio with them - it didn't work.

When I got home, my husband was in the den watching football. Only the lamp and the TV were on and so the lighting was kind of dim. When he finally noticed my teeth, his jaw dropped and he said, "What happened to your teeth?!" I busted out lauging adn then the teeth started to fall out of my mouth.

For the next hour, I kept the teeth in and kept singing, "Let's make love" by Faith Hill. He was grossed out and kept asking me to get rid of the teeth. I just couldn't. They were great.

Then, it happened.

We had to go to Target. I said that I would drive there with my new teeth in. Well, I put them back in the egg and left them in the car. When we got home, I couldn't find them. I was so afraid that they fell out of the car at Target. I really was upset. My husband says that I told him (in a panic) that I needed to find the teeth because I needed them for work. I don't know where that came from but he swears that I said it.

Finally, I went out and found the teeth (in the egg) under the car seat. I wore them all around the house and just kept laughing about them. I finally convinced my husband to try them and I almost peed my pants because I was laughing so hard. I haven't laughed that hard at anything in a really long time. It was then that I said those magic words...

Thank you teeth!

nerd power

I never thought that I would turn into super-nerd, but apparently I have.

Remember back in the day when you thought you were super-cool? You know, you and your friends wore the coolest clothes, did the coolest things, and were the coolest people. You probably weren't - I know I wasn't. But you thought you were and that's what kept you going. Never once, did I imagine I would be chained to a desk, thrilled in the fact that I found a call number that works for a book on prisoner's inventions. Like I said, super-nerd.

I remember being in high school and dreaming of my perfect job. I was going to be a news reporter or a psychiatrist specializing in autistic children. (I have two brothers who are autistic) Anyway, I always imagined myself on TV - either breaking some huge story or discussing the latest research on autism. Of course, everyone wanted my opinion and I was just so respected in the field (journalism or research). After graduating from college with the almighty English Lit. degree, reality smacked me in the face. I wasn't "blonde" enough to be a news reporter and I was too lazy to actually do any research beyond literature criticism. So, here I am years later plodding through cataloging rules so that the masses can have the latest book on the history of Effingham County.

Calm down, it's coming!

It's not that I hate my job. Far from it. As a matter of fact, I love it. My idea of a good day is to blast through as much as I can and make some people in the dept. step back and realize that I wasn't playing around during that interview. I said that I thrive on getting rid of backlogs. I wasn't kidding. Go ask my last dept.

Anyway, this is all to say that I have turned into a super-nerd.

This is Fred signing off for Fox News. I report. I decide.

Endless Sickness

I don't really have much to write about because I haven't really been doing much lately. See, my husband has some kind of endless sickness. They thought it was walking pneumonia - ummmm...that was 3 weeks ago. He's going to the doctor tomorrow, again. That will be his 5th trip to the doctor. He's coughing up a lung and trying to survive a monster of a sore throat that is only relieved by pain killers. I hope they can figure it out. He's really miserable and you know misery loves company...there you have it.

But I have been the very good wife since he has been sick. I made cookies and brownies, took out the trash, let him sleep on the weekends, offered to cut the grass, and tried to keep his spirits up. I also shoot him a bird or two everyday and that seems to make him happy.

I'd better get an awesome Christmas present out of this!!! ;)

The fabulous wife