Been a long time
I haven't written on this in a long time. Is there anyone out there even reading this anymore? Let me know.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Saturday, May 17, 2008
My week ... no my YEAR sucks so far!
Yes, I know. I haven't updated since last year. I don't know who the hell is out there reading this - but if you are still out there - thanks!
I had to write this down somewhere to document it because part of me doesn't believe that it really happened. But it did. I have a scar to prove it and I can touch it right now. Wish you were me, don't you?
Back in February I went to the endocrinologist. I go every six months because I have a tumor in my head and it has to be monitored. Pituitary, baby! That was a story from long ago. Anyway, I switched endocrinologists because I was not going to make the drive to Atlanta for a 15 minute check up anymore. I just couldn't see the point. We were doing maintenance and as long as my blood results were fine and my MRI looked good every two years, it was basically a social call. So I switched to a local endocrinologist. It took forever to get in to see him. He is like a mad scientist - but I really like him.
So, we went over my blood work and everything was fine. Then he felt around my feet and my throat. He stopped when he got to my throat. He asked if anyone had noticed the nodule on my thyroid. No. He was very calm and said that he would like to ultrasound it (yeah, I thought that was strange also) and possible do a fine needle biopsy. So, we scheduled two separate appointments and I went on my way.
The ultrasound showed a nodule that was a little less than a centimeter and it looked strange enough where he wanted to go ahead with the biopsy. So, at the next appointment, the doctor stuck a needle into the nodule and extracted some tissue. Off to the lab it went. Two days later he called me. THE DOCTOR CALLED ME HIMSELF - NOT A GOOD SIGN. It was "suspicious enough" and he wanted it out. He wanted it out asap.
That was the first time he said the C word where I knew in my heart that it wasn't just a "possibility." I told my husband and no one else. I guess I didn't want that to be the only thing people had to talk to me about. My dad still doesn't even know. I just didn't know how to tell him. He would fall apart.
Last week, I had thyroid surgery. The surgeon removed the left half of my thyroid - which had the nodule. I spent two nights in the hospital and was supposed to recover for the next week. The pathologist confirmed that it was indeed cancer. CANCER??? Good God! I'm not ready for that! I have a 13 month old! I have a lot of stuff going on!
Now, I have a two inch scar on my neck from the surgery. I can cover it with a band-aid. I feel fine. I had this past week to recover. RECOVER. Oh, wait. No recovery for me - my daughter had chicken pox, a rash, and pinkeye all at the same time. Guess who spent my recovery week with me?? And, before you ask, she was just immunized for chicken pox. Somehow she got it before the vaccine fully took effect. This would only happen to me. See, my year sucks and it's not even half over yet!
Anyway, I'm fine. I had a very sweet nun visit me in the hospital and give me a rosary. Someone is looking out for me.
I had to write this down somewhere to document it because part of me doesn't believe that it really happened. But it did. I have a scar to prove it and I can touch it right now. Wish you were me, don't you?
Back in February I went to the endocrinologist. I go every six months because I have a tumor in my head and it has to be monitored. Pituitary, baby! That was a story from long ago. Anyway, I switched endocrinologists because I was not going to make the drive to Atlanta for a 15 minute check up anymore. I just couldn't see the point. We were doing maintenance and as long as my blood results were fine and my MRI looked good every two years, it was basically a social call. So I switched to a local endocrinologist. It took forever to get in to see him. He is like a mad scientist - but I really like him.
So, we went over my blood work and everything was fine. Then he felt around my feet and my throat. He stopped when he got to my throat. He asked if anyone had noticed the nodule on my thyroid. No. He was very calm and said that he would like to ultrasound it (yeah, I thought that was strange also) and possible do a fine needle biopsy. So, we scheduled two separate appointments and I went on my way.
The ultrasound showed a nodule that was a little less than a centimeter and it looked strange enough where he wanted to go ahead with the biopsy. So, at the next appointment, the doctor stuck a needle into the nodule and extracted some tissue. Off to the lab it went. Two days later he called me. THE DOCTOR CALLED ME HIMSELF - NOT A GOOD SIGN. It was "suspicious enough" and he wanted it out. He wanted it out asap.
That was the first time he said the C word where I knew in my heart that it wasn't just a "possibility." I told my husband and no one else. I guess I didn't want that to be the only thing people had to talk to me about. My dad still doesn't even know. I just didn't know how to tell him. He would fall apart.
Last week, I had thyroid surgery. The surgeon removed the left half of my thyroid - which had the nodule. I spent two nights in the hospital and was supposed to recover for the next week. The pathologist confirmed that it was indeed cancer. CANCER??? Good God! I'm not ready for that! I have a 13 month old! I have a lot of stuff going on!
Now, I have a two inch scar on my neck from the surgery. I can cover it with a band-aid. I feel fine. I had this past week to recover. RECOVER. Oh, wait. No recovery for me - my daughter had chicken pox, a rash, and pinkeye all at the same time. Guess who spent my recovery week with me?? And, before you ask, she was just immunized for chicken pox. Somehow she got it before the vaccine fully took effect. This would only happen to me. See, my year sucks and it's not even half over yet!
Anyway, I'm fine. I had a very sweet nun visit me in the hospital and give me a rosary. Someone is looking out for me.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
and the year keeps getting better....
So, I'm driving home from my in-laws on Tuesday afternoon. I had just picked up Emmy and was going the whole 3 miles home when some jackass runs a red light, smashes into my driver's side door at 55 mph, spins me all the way across a four-lane road into the grass. I must have blacked out when the airbags deployed because I don't remember spinning. I just remember opening my eyes, seeing the shattered windshield, hearing Emmy crying, and hearing someone tell me the baby was okay and asking if I was okay. Thank God for airbags. Really. Invest in a car with airbags (front, side and curtain) - they work!
They had to cut me out of the car because they couldn't get the door open.
Emmy was fine. Not a scratch. I am sore, purple and bruised, and my arm is cut up. Considering how bad the car is, I was very lucky.
No more white, 4-door cars for me. They are cursed. We are now looking at a mini-van with airbags in all three rows.
More proof that people are idiots. Like I needed any more proof!
They had to cut me out of the car because they couldn't get the door open.
Emmy was fine. Not a scratch. I am sore, purple and bruised, and my arm is cut up. Considering how bad the car is, I was very lucky.
No more white, 4-door cars for me. They are cursed. We are now looking at a mini-van with airbags in all three rows.
More proof that people are idiots. Like I needed any more proof!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Emmy
Emmy is here. Emmy has been here since the 11th of April. Emmy is colicky and Emmy has reflux. Emmy is a hybrid electric baby. Keep reading. You'll see what I mean.
Early Saturday morning, April 14th at around 2:00 am, the nurse came into my hospital room without my Emmy. Emmy was supposed to come back from the nursery to be fed. So, in my groggy, half-awake stupor I asked where she was. The nurse replied that Emmy started to gag when she was in the nursery and she turned blue. Everything was fine. They called our pediatrician and admitted her to the NICU. Just then, a nurse comes in to take my blood pressure because they MUST know it at all times when you are in the hospital. I have no idea what it was, but I'm sure it wasn't good. I mean, I just found out my baby is in the NICU because she TURNED BLUE and you really want my blood pressure? NOW????
So, we jump up and get dressed to go up to the NICU. But, they don't want us to go just yet because they want to get Emmy settled in. So, we finally went up at 4 am.
The NICU wasn't as dreary as I thought it would be. Every baby had a little room with a sliding glass door. There were cheerful colors and artwork and large rockers in every room. You could tell which babies had been there for a long time because their doors were decorated with pictures and love notes from parents and siblings. That made me very sad. Emmy was in the very last room. She was all bundled up with wires sticking out of her blanket. I just cried when I saw her.
Emmy was hooked up to a machine that monitored her heart rate, blood pressure, oxygen level, and some other thing that I can't remember. We could hold her and feed her, but every once in awhile an alarm would go off and we would panic. The nurses in the NICU were fantastic and helped us deal with everything that was going on. Emmy was fine. They were just taking precautions. The next day Emmy had a GI test that confirmed acid reflux. They put Emmy on Zantac and a special formula that contains rice. Her little hands were bruised from the IV.
Sunday, I was able to go home. Emmy was not. It's a very strange feeling to leave the hospital with all this stuff (flowers, balloons, etc.) and not your baby. I knew she was in good hands - but they weren't my hands. Emmy was able to come home on Monday after we learned infant cpr and how to manage her portable monitor. She is on a portable monitor to measure her breathing and heartrate. She will be on this monitor for at least two months, if not longer. It's the size of a cable box with little wires attached to contacts on her chest. We have to keep her on it except for baths. We charge it at night. See, she is like a hybrid baby! She is currently getting 3-4 hours per bottle. I'm not sure what her epa rating is but she did well in the crash tests.
Besides that scare, Emmy is colicky. I have been calling her the scream machine, or electric baby. But, she is healthy and beautiful and I cannot thank God enough that her gagging episode happened in the hospital instead of in the middle of the night after we got home.
So, sorry for the lack of updates. I've been busy lugging electric baby and her battery pack all over the house.
Early Saturday morning, April 14th at around 2:00 am, the nurse came into my hospital room without my Emmy. Emmy was supposed to come back from the nursery to be fed. So, in my groggy, half-awake stupor I asked where she was. The nurse replied that Emmy started to gag when she was in the nursery and she turned blue. Everything was fine. They called our pediatrician and admitted her to the NICU. Just then, a nurse comes in to take my blood pressure because they MUST know it at all times when you are in the hospital. I have no idea what it was, but I'm sure it wasn't good. I mean, I just found out my baby is in the NICU because she TURNED BLUE and you really want my blood pressure? NOW????
So, we jump up and get dressed to go up to the NICU. But, they don't want us to go just yet because they want to get Emmy settled in. So, we finally went up at 4 am.
The NICU wasn't as dreary as I thought it would be. Every baby had a little room with a sliding glass door. There were cheerful colors and artwork and large rockers in every room. You could tell which babies had been there for a long time because their doors were decorated with pictures and love notes from parents and siblings. That made me very sad. Emmy was in the very last room. She was all bundled up with wires sticking out of her blanket. I just cried when I saw her.
Emmy was hooked up to a machine that monitored her heart rate, blood pressure, oxygen level, and some other thing that I can't remember. We could hold her and feed her, but every once in awhile an alarm would go off and we would panic. The nurses in the NICU were fantastic and helped us deal with everything that was going on. Emmy was fine. They were just taking precautions. The next day Emmy had a GI test that confirmed acid reflux. They put Emmy on Zantac and a special formula that contains rice. Her little hands were bruised from the IV.
Sunday, I was able to go home. Emmy was not. It's a very strange feeling to leave the hospital with all this stuff (flowers, balloons, etc.) and not your baby. I knew she was in good hands - but they weren't my hands. Emmy was able to come home on Monday after we learned infant cpr and how to manage her portable monitor. She is on a portable monitor to measure her breathing and heartrate. She will be on this monitor for at least two months, if not longer. It's the size of a cable box with little wires attached to contacts on her chest. We have to keep her on it except for baths. We charge it at night. See, she is like a hybrid baby! She is currently getting 3-4 hours per bottle. I'm not sure what her epa rating is but she did well in the crash tests.
Besides that scare, Emmy is colicky. I have been calling her the scream machine, or electric baby. But, she is healthy and beautiful and I cannot thank God enough that her gagging episode happened in the hospital instead of in the middle of the night after we got home.
So, sorry for the lack of updates. I've been busy lugging electric baby and her battery pack all over the house.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Happy new year!
Happy new year everyone!
Let’s see… the new year started out okay. Someone in the Kroger parking lot opened their red pickup truck door into my white car and it looked like a peppermint. Luckily, the wonderful people at the Honda dealership buffed the red paint right off and so I am left with a small ding on the passenger door. I can live with that.
My son has been wonderful lately (knock on wood). He has been so sweet. He saw a picture of a pregnant woman on one of those pregnancy books and he said, “that’s mama.” He talks about his baby sister, Emmy, a lot and that’s really sweet. I think he’s excited about it.
Work…awesome. We have been pretty busy with different projects (that we are actually making progress on) and the whole atmosphere has changed.
I finished a book the other night, Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson. I have to say that since reading that book, I have made changes in my personal and spiritual life. I have felt calmer and more in control of how my life goes. It’s only been about five days, but the difference in my attitude has really made a difference in my life and the life of those around me. Thanks to my Slice for sending the book! Really. It could not have arrived at a better time. One of the things I have learned in therapy, and from the book, is that change isn’t easy. You have to work at it. It’s easy to slink back into old habits of behavior. I’m tired of doing that. I’m tired of doing things in my life because they are easy. I enjoy the benefits of hard work when it comes to my job, and now I am translating that to my life. I’m learning to enjoy things for what they are and to stop stressing so much. If I am late, I will find a way to make up the time. If there are dishes in the sink, I will find the time to take care of it. Everything doesn’t have to be done NOW. Everything isn’t on a time schedule and I need to start enjoying things. This doesn’t mean I’ve become a slacker. I’m just letting myself off the hook for things that really aren’t that crucial in the grand scheme of life.
I just can’t relate to people who slack off at work and in life. Unfortunately, I know people like that and it is so apparent that they just don’t make an effort anymore. It’s very sad. Maybe this year they will realize that they are only hurting themselves and alienating others.
Other than that, everything is okay. I have my ups and downs, but right now things are on an up and so I want to celebrate that.
Here’s to good things for everyone in 2007!
Let’s see… the new year started out okay. Someone in the Kroger parking lot opened their red pickup truck door into my white car and it looked like a peppermint. Luckily, the wonderful people at the Honda dealership buffed the red paint right off and so I am left with a small ding on the passenger door. I can live with that.
My son has been wonderful lately (knock on wood). He has been so sweet. He saw a picture of a pregnant woman on one of those pregnancy books and he said, “that’s mama.” He talks about his baby sister, Emmy, a lot and that’s really sweet. I think he’s excited about it.
Work…awesome. We have been pretty busy with different projects (that we are actually making progress on) and the whole atmosphere has changed.
I finished a book the other night, Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson. I have to say that since reading that book, I have made changes in my personal and spiritual life. I have felt calmer and more in control of how my life goes. It’s only been about five days, but the difference in my attitude has really made a difference in my life and the life of those around me. Thanks to my Slice for sending the book! Really. It could not have arrived at a better time. One of the things I have learned in therapy, and from the book, is that change isn’t easy. You have to work at it. It’s easy to slink back into old habits of behavior. I’m tired of doing that. I’m tired of doing things in my life because they are easy. I enjoy the benefits of hard work when it comes to my job, and now I am translating that to my life. I’m learning to enjoy things for what they are and to stop stressing so much. If I am late, I will find a way to make up the time. If there are dishes in the sink, I will find the time to take care of it. Everything doesn’t have to be done NOW. Everything isn’t on a time schedule and I need to start enjoying things. This doesn’t mean I’ve become a slacker. I’m just letting myself off the hook for things that really aren’t that crucial in the grand scheme of life.
I just can’t relate to people who slack off at work and in life. Unfortunately, I know people like that and it is so apparent that they just don’t make an effort anymore. It’s very sad. Maybe this year they will realize that they are only hurting themselves and alienating others.
Other than that, everything is okay. I have my ups and downs, but right now things are on an up and so I want to celebrate that.
Here’s to good things for everyone in 2007!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Someone else's shoes
Well, I found some shoes and they are okay – except that they are leather and they need to be broken-in. Do you know how long it has been since I’ve had to break-in shoes? Breaking in Birkenstocks doesn’t count because there isn’t much to it.
So, tomorrow I will either be wearing the Birkenstocks again (clogs this time) or my jeepers (blue pro-keds). Hmmm…what fabulous professional outfit will that work with?? Haaaaaa! People – realize where I work. Professional outfit?
Speaking of professional…I got my promotion! It’s not official until the Spring, but I got it!!! I think I was in shock when I read the letter. I always doubt myself in a really big way.
I called my Dad to tell him that we were having a girl (we are!) and that we had picked out her name, Emmeline - named after my grandmother (his mom). My Dad got very quiet and I could tell he was crying. He kept saying how beautiful that name was. It is. It’s a very special name. My grandmother was a very special woman. I’m proud to honor my grandmother by naming my daughter after her.
My son is now running around singing, “We hot the hawk!” Which is really supposed to be Parliament Funkadelic’s “We want the funk!” but he doesn’t know the words and thinks that “we hot the hawk” is what they are saying. It was on a commercial that he saw the other day. It’s pretty funny. I love Parliament/Funkadelic because I am originally from the home of P-Funk (Plainfield, NJ) but I haven’t played that when he’s in the car. Unless it’s the Wiggles or Bear in the Big Blue House, we can’t listen to it in a moving vehicle.
This morning, I was listening to the radio at work and the Pretenders’ Talk of the town came on. I just love the way that Chrissy Hynde says, “I made a wish (pronounced Weesh) and said it out loud.” It always makes me think of my cat. Oh, how I love Chrissy Hynde’s voice. I can remember being about fourteen or fifteen listening to Learning to Crawl (on cassette) in my kitchen while making pies for Thanksgiving. Good times, people. Those were good times.
Another thing I did this morning was to pick a name off the Christmas tree at my son’s daycare. The children on the tree are foster children. It’s for a 4 year-old girl. It made me sad because it just listed clothes. Christmas is such a happy time and we always think of children excited because Santa brought so many toys. It’s easy to forget that a pair of shoes might be the only thing some kids get from Santa. It made me appreciate everything just a little more than usual today.
So, go on and appreciate everything today. It’s that time of year where we take stock in where we are, where we’re going, where we’ve been, and appreciate every bit of it.
“We want the funk…gotta have that funk…!”
So, tomorrow I will either be wearing the Birkenstocks again (clogs this time) or my jeepers (blue pro-keds). Hmmm…what fabulous professional outfit will that work with?? Haaaaaa! People – realize where I work. Professional outfit?
Speaking of professional…I got my promotion! It’s not official until the Spring, but I got it!!! I think I was in shock when I read the letter. I always doubt myself in a really big way.
I called my Dad to tell him that we were having a girl (we are!) and that we had picked out her name, Emmeline - named after my grandmother (his mom). My Dad got very quiet and I could tell he was crying. He kept saying how beautiful that name was. It is. It’s a very special name. My grandmother was a very special woman. I’m proud to honor my grandmother by naming my daughter after her.
My son is now running around singing, “We hot the hawk!” Which is really supposed to be Parliament Funkadelic’s “We want the funk!” but he doesn’t know the words and thinks that “we hot the hawk” is what they are saying. It was on a commercial that he saw the other day. It’s pretty funny. I love Parliament/Funkadelic because I am originally from the home of P-Funk (Plainfield, NJ) but I haven’t played that when he’s in the car. Unless it’s the Wiggles or Bear in the Big Blue House, we can’t listen to it in a moving vehicle.
This morning, I was listening to the radio at work and the Pretenders’ Talk of the town came on. I just love the way that Chrissy Hynde says, “I made a wish (pronounced Weesh) and said it out loud.” It always makes me think of my cat. Oh, how I love Chrissy Hynde’s voice. I can remember being about fourteen or fifteen listening to Learning to Crawl (on cassette) in my kitchen while making pies for Thanksgiving. Good times, people. Those were good times.
Another thing I did this morning was to pick a name off the Christmas tree at my son’s daycare. The children on the tree are foster children. It’s for a 4 year-old girl. It made me sad because it just listed clothes. Christmas is such a happy time and we always think of children excited because Santa brought so many toys. It’s easy to forget that a pair of shoes might be the only thing some kids get from Santa. It made me appreciate everything just a little more than usual today.
So, go on and appreciate everything today. It’s that time of year where we take stock in where we are, where we’re going, where we’ve been, and appreciate every bit of it.
“We want the funk…gotta have that funk…!”
