Misty water colored memories...
This has been a pretty bad year for our family healthwise and lifewise. I just found out that my husband's grandfather passed away. In the past 8 months, my husband has lost 3 of his grandparents. My son has been to three funerals and will now be attending his fourth. He is only a year old.
The news this morning made me think about my mom.
My mom and I used to be really close. Really close. Then, I went away to school and she kind of weirded out. I mean, really weirded out. She started hanging around some really strange people and staying out until all hours and pretty much neglecting any family responsibilities. (who is the parent here?) I felt a lot of guilt for not being there during that time. I've been dealing with that for awhile and I'm doing much better. I think I have more of a problem with what her behavior did to my brother. I'm a big sister and no one - NO ONE - messes with my little brother.
So, then came the divorce. I was 26 years old when my parents divorced. The reason I know how old I was at the time was because that was the year I got married. The quote from my mom was, "We wanted to wait until after your wedding." Gee, thanks. That made it so much easier. I can't say that my mom handled that in a tactful way, can you? If anyone ever tells you that divorce is easier on adult children - they are lying. And hey - the stigma of my wedding being the flood gate for my parent's divorce? Gee, why would that be an issue? (Note: I have a therapist - thanks for the offers.)
Anyway, my relationship with my mom has basically deteriorated. Every once in awhile we will talk on the phone. She sends cards when appropriate. I can carry on a conversation as long as it doesn't get into any of the things from that period of time. If it does, I silently wait until I can change the subject.
Why am I thinking about this? I guess because one day my mom won't be here. As horrible as things were between us (and they were absolutely horrible), she is still my mom. She sat up with me when I was sick and brought me ginger ale. She made my Halloween costumes. She wrapped Christmas presents. She laughed when I did my "Gina the guido hairdresser" routine. She gave birth to my favorite person in the world, my brother. She remembers my birthday and tries to be a good grandmother to my son. All of this is to say that I need to make more of an effort - even though the relationship is damaged. One day she just might not be there. I have enough guilt and not enough money to spend on all the therapy it would take to get through that.
I don't know why I wrote about my mom today. I really meant to write about these new 24 oz. Cokes. They are awesome!
The news this morning made me think about my mom.
My mom and I used to be really close. Really close. Then, I went away to school and she kind of weirded out. I mean, really weirded out. She started hanging around some really strange people and staying out until all hours and pretty much neglecting any family responsibilities. (who is the parent here?) I felt a lot of guilt for not being there during that time. I've been dealing with that for awhile and I'm doing much better. I think I have more of a problem with what her behavior did to my brother. I'm a big sister and no one - NO ONE - messes with my little brother.
So, then came the divorce. I was 26 years old when my parents divorced. The reason I know how old I was at the time was because that was the year I got married. The quote from my mom was, "We wanted to wait until after your wedding." Gee, thanks. That made it so much easier. I can't say that my mom handled that in a tactful way, can you? If anyone ever tells you that divorce is easier on adult children - they are lying. And hey - the stigma of my wedding being the flood gate for my parent's divorce? Gee, why would that be an issue? (Note: I have a therapist - thanks for the offers.)
Anyway, my relationship with my mom has basically deteriorated. Every once in awhile we will talk on the phone. She sends cards when appropriate. I can carry on a conversation as long as it doesn't get into any of the things from that period of time. If it does, I silently wait until I can change the subject.
Why am I thinking about this? I guess because one day my mom won't be here. As horrible as things were between us (and they were absolutely horrible), she is still my mom. She sat up with me when I was sick and brought me ginger ale. She made my Halloween costumes. She wrapped Christmas presents. She laughed when I did my "Gina the guido hairdresser" routine. She gave birth to my favorite person in the world, my brother. She remembers my birthday and tries to be a good grandmother to my son. All of this is to say that I need to make more of an effort - even though the relationship is damaged. One day she just might not be there. I have enough guilt and not enough money to spend on all the therapy it would take to get through that.
I don't know why I wrote about my mom today. I really meant to write about these new 24 oz. Cokes. They are awesome!
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