On my mind
I’ve got a few things going through my mind today. And…no, it’s not overloading my brain.
First, I am contemplating my career. I’m not going to go into anything specific but I am taking steps to keep my options open. Sometimes, I get really frustrated, bored, irritated with my current position. I know everyone does, but is it really worth it? I spend most of my day at work and there is no reason why it should be a negative aspect of my life, right? Sometimes, I imagine that I have invented the perfect thing (whatever that is) and I just sit home and collect the royalties from it. I’m not lazy. I have an incredible work ethic. I just get so tired of the red tape and political crap that goes along with my job. I had more freedom in kindergarten.
Secondly, I think that I put too much pressure on myself, which causes so many other problems. I think that I try to be the perfect mother, wife, person – and that is just not possible. Except, I can’t get my brain to understand that. I am always thinking ahead – what needs to be done, etc. So, by the time the day is over I am mentally exhausted and nothing really gets done. I am a champion at making lists and then not following through with them.
My typical Sunday is making a grocery list, going to the grocery store, and then internally freaking out because it is already 12:00 and the day is half over. Logically, I know that the day isn’t half over but inside I am in panic mode. Stupid, isn’t it? Of course, this panic carries over and then I am freaking out my husband and child and the day really is wasted. Everyone gets wrapped up in my panic and then it’s back to work again.
Another thing that is on my mind is my dog. I love that old, trailer park dog. He just drives me insane. He is like a canine vacuum cleaner. He is losing his hearing but he can hear bags, utensils, or food from miles away. I feel guilty because I don’t feel like I can give him the attention that he needs because I am wrapped up in all of these other things.
I guess I just need to reprioritize and get my act together. No one is perfect and who the hell am I trying to impress?
First, I am contemplating my career. I’m not going to go into anything specific but I am taking steps to keep my options open. Sometimes, I get really frustrated, bored, irritated with my current position. I know everyone does, but is it really worth it? I spend most of my day at work and there is no reason why it should be a negative aspect of my life, right? Sometimes, I imagine that I have invented the perfect thing (whatever that is) and I just sit home and collect the royalties from it. I’m not lazy. I have an incredible work ethic. I just get so tired of the red tape and political crap that goes along with my job. I had more freedom in kindergarten.
Secondly, I think that I put too much pressure on myself, which causes so many other problems. I think that I try to be the perfect mother, wife, person – and that is just not possible. Except, I can’t get my brain to understand that. I am always thinking ahead – what needs to be done, etc. So, by the time the day is over I am mentally exhausted and nothing really gets done. I am a champion at making lists and then not following through with them.
My typical Sunday is making a grocery list, going to the grocery store, and then internally freaking out because it is already 12:00 and the day is half over. Logically, I know that the day isn’t half over but inside I am in panic mode. Stupid, isn’t it? Of course, this panic carries over and then I am freaking out my husband and child and the day really is wasted. Everyone gets wrapped up in my panic and then it’s back to work again.
Another thing that is on my mind is my dog. I love that old, trailer park dog. He just drives me insane. He is like a canine vacuum cleaner. He is losing his hearing but he can hear bags, utensils, or food from miles away. I feel guilty because I don’t feel like I can give him the attention that he needs because I am wrapped up in all of these other things.
I guess I just need to reprioritize and get my act together. No one is perfect and who the hell am I trying to impress?
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