Bird
I believe in signs. Not like I look around everyday for them, but you know when you have experienced a sign. You know.
About three years ago, I had hit a new low point in my life. I was pretty depressed. Usually, when this happens, I turn back to God in some desperate version of myself, hoping that he (God is usually a “he” to me. I was raised Catholic.) will intervene and make some sense of everything for me.
I had been struggling with issues relating to my health. More specifically, I had been struggling with the issue of infertility which was caused by a tumor larger than a centimeter on my pituitary gland. (Fact: your pituitary gland is about the size of a pea.)
In my moment of desperation that morning, as I walked from the parking deck to work, I asked God to show me a sign that everything would be okay. I looked around thinking what he could use so I would know the sign was for me. I looked up and saw a bird. I asked God to give me a sign using a bird.
So, I am up in the reference area of where I work, looking for some obscure Census publication. It’s around this time of year, so the sky is gray and gloomy. For some reason, I stopped and went to the window in the back of the reference area. Outside the window, stood a large, bare (remember now, it’s February) tree that I never really paid any attention to before. On every single branch of that tree there were birds. The tree looked like it was in full bloom, except it was with birds, not leaves. And the sound…. Through the window, I could hear it like I was outside. I have never heard birds sing as loud as they did that day. I must have stood there for at least twenty minutes, just staring at this tree full of birds with tears streaming down my face.
And somewhere in those twenty minutes, I felt a sense of calm. It moved like a wave through my body. That was my sign. Those birds were there to show me that everything would be okay.
And it was.
The tumor is now undetectable in an MRI.
And, my son will be two on Sunday.
Happy Birthday, William!
About three years ago, I had hit a new low point in my life. I was pretty depressed. Usually, when this happens, I turn back to God in some desperate version of myself, hoping that he (God is usually a “he” to me. I was raised Catholic.) will intervene and make some sense of everything for me.
I had been struggling with issues relating to my health. More specifically, I had been struggling with the issue of infertility which was caused by a tumor larger than a centimeter on my pituitary gland. (Fact: your pituitary gland is about the size of a pea.)
In my moment of desperation that morning, as I walked from the parking deck to work, I asked God to show me a sign that everything would be okay. I looked around thinking what he could use so I would know the sign was for me. I looked up and saw a bird. I asked God to give me a sign using a bird.
So, I am up in the reference area of where I work, looking for some obscure Census publication. It’s around this time of year, so the sky is gray and gloomy. For some reason, I stopped and went to the window in the back of the reference area. Outside the window, stood a large, bare (remember now, it’s February) tree that I never really paid any attention to before. On every single branch of that tree there were birds. The tree looked like it was in full bloom, except it was with birds, not leaves. And the sound…. Through the window, I could hear it like I was outside. I have never heard birds sing as loud as they did that day. I must have stood there for at least twenty minutes, just staring at this tree full of birds with tears streaming down my face.
And somewhere in those twenty minutes, I felt a sense of calm. It moved like a wave through my body. That was my sign. Those birds were there to show me that everything would be okay.
And it was.
The tumor is now undetectable in an MRI.
And, my son will be two on Sunday.
Happy Birthday, William!
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