The nerv of the perv

Well, I should have known it was going to be one of those days when I woke up and couldn't get the Barney Elephant song out of my head. The whole time I was getting ready for work, I kept singing to myself, "Elephant...elephant...he's wrinkled and grey...elephant..." Little did I know it would lead to things even more strange.

So after I drop my son off at daycare (which was a wonderful drop off, in case you are wondering), I'm driving along on the on ramp to the bypass. Nothing strange about that. I had just put in a Nelly CD (I HAD to get the elephant song out of my head and what better than some Country Grammar?) when I look off to the side of the on ramp, up to this other road that kind of runs parallel to the on ramp. There was a white van on the side of the road and I guess my eyes were drawn to it because I am compelled to look at things whiter than myself.

Here's where it gets strange - for lack of a better word.

The driver's side door of the van is open and there is a man standing outside of the van, facing the on ramp to the bypass - the on ramp that I am driving on. He's completely naked - butt naked (well, he did have a hat on) - and even though he was pretty pale, he wasn't as white as the van. But, if that wasn't bad enough, he's also masturbating in a very exaggerated manner. Nice.

So, after my eyesight corrected, I debated about calling 911. However, I did call. When I called 911 and tried to explain what I just saw, the operator laughed and asked me to repeat it. So, I did and swore I wasn't making it up. She put me on hold - I'm sure to relay my story to the other operators and laugh about it. Then she came back and said that they were getting other calls about it and someone was on their way.

So, we'll see what the rest of the day holds.

Hope everyone else has a perv-free friday!